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Magazine > Content

Ask Dr. Stanley: Why don’t I feel connected to God?

When He feels far away, you might be overlooking the very door He’s inviting you to open


Q: I try very hard to do the things God asks of His followers, like spending time with Him every day in prayer, reading the Bible, and going to church. But somehow I don’t feel the closeness with God that other Christians talk about. What could be preventing that?

A: First, let me commend you for obeying those things that you recognize as the Lord’s instructions for His children. He values obedience because it demonstrates a believer’s trust and love for Him (John 14:15). For this reason, spending time regularly in the Word and in prayer is an important step toward having the close connection with God that you crave.

But keep in mind that to cultivate strong bonds in any relationship, we must get to know what the other person is like and which things matter to him or her. That doesn’t happen quickly or unintentionally; it takes time and deliberate effort to understand someone else’s thoughts and motivations.

The same holds true in our relationship with God. So tell the Lord that you long for closeness with Him. And as you begin your time of prayer or Scripture reading, be sure to ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten your thoughts with His insights.

Also keep in mind that if something in your life is thwarting your relationship with the Lord, it must be identified and corrected before a deeper bond can develop. Because God is most interested in our being conformed to His likeness, He will show us things about ourselves that we’d rather not see: He reveals sin so we can cooperate with Him while He roots it out. As godly conduct replaces old self-focused behavior patterns, we will walk in increasing intimacy with our Creator.

So continue studying Scripture, talking with God, and attending church. But also make a regular habit of inviting the Holy Spirit to convict you of sin and teach you about your heavenly Father (John 14:26; John 16:8). In time, you will be enjoying true, satisfying fellowship with almighty God.


For more questions and answers, tune in to In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley each week (check local listings)—or visit Ask Dr. Stanley.

Copyright 2015 In Touch Ministries, Inc. All rights reserved. In Touch grants permission to print for personal use only.

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  • March 25, 2013 02:01 PM


    I always blessed being intouch with INTOUCH MINISTRY. I going to ask the Holy Spirit too, to show me my hidden sins and so on. I,m from Curaçao (island next to Venezuela).
  • March 14, 2013 06:48 PM


    thank you for the leading...i was once so lost by the busyness of my activity, and that I can no longer concentrate back to my intimacy with HIM,,,i am feeling a Spiritual dryness. and that I am not longer in control to HIS will...I am being blessed if people may call,,,but I questioned myself to what blessing I am receiving. as the true blessings comes with peace. But then I realize I am covered by the deceptive act of the enemy,,,reading this word, arouses my soul to come close again to HIM, Help me pray for my activeness in GODs virtue.
  • March 13, 2013 01:02 AM


    I once felt similar and had many agonizing times feeling estranged from God.

    However the turning point came when I was faced with facing the person that I was, and the hidden sins that many of us carry. The crucial thing is to ask God to reveal our sin to us and for His help to root it out. This wasn't easy for me, and at times, it still is a struggle. But by the power of His word, regular fellowship, constant prayer and the might of the Holy Spirit, anything can be achieved.

    Another help I found was to find a partner in the Church, someone of the same sex, a spiritually mature person that I could be open and honest with on a regular basis about any problem I was having, spiritual or otherwise.

    This is all part of our molding. It's hard work, even humiliating at times, but worth it in the end. In time, with our efforts and hard work, everything comes together and we feel God's closeness in the most beautiful way.

    As a final point, pray on your knees. There is such a wonderful feeling of a child before God when one prays on their knees.

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